Deborah's Deliberations

Spring cleaning? Old shoes you don’t want? Build hospice rooms!

Posted on May 29, 2009 | 1 comment

In the midst of spring cleaning? Wondering what to do with all those old shoes you don’t wear anymore? I have the answer! DONATE THEM! This morning I saw an article on Kansas.com about Faye Evans and her drive to raise $50,000 to build 8 hospice rooms and a family room at Wichita’s Robert A. Dole Veteran’s Hospital transitional living center. Faye has been collecting shoes for recycling to support local causes for over three years. A soft spoken, sweet sounding woman who has undergone 5 major surgeries in the last 6 months that have “slowed her down a bit,” Faye is the dynamo behind this effort. To achieve her goal, Faye needs to collect 340,000 pounds of shoes. Shoes can be dropped at the American Legion Post #410 at 101 E. 31st Street South, Wichita. For large batches of shoes, Faye will arrange for pickup. You can call her at: 316-833-8005 to arrange for a pick-up. Faye’s van can hold 1300 pounds of shoes and she pays for her own gas. The hospice rooms will create a “homey atmosphere for families” and allow them to live with their loved ones in a comfortable environment during their final days. I’m heading out to drop off my shoes this afternoon! Join me!

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Posted in make a difference

Tagged Wichita opportunities to make a difference

Thoughts on the loss of Laura and Jami

Posted on May 21, 2009 | 2 comments

Today is my wonderful daughter’s 16^th birthday. I am so blessed! Today it is one year to the day since her friend Laura killed herself. This is a message I wrote some months ago, but decided to wait to post until today, to acknowledge this anniversary, an event my daughter will remember every year, on her birthday. This is no easier and the answers are no clearer today than they were the day I wrote this. That said, the questions, the answers, are important! Jami and Laura are important!

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I sit here, on my porch listening to the rain. I wonder. What is the gap that makes it possible for two beautiful, talented, young women, with family and friends who loved them dearly, to choose to take their own lives. What in their despair and pain makes it impossible for them to see past the hard moments that faced them, to see all the potential ahead, and to choose in that moment to end their lives?

What resources are we not building in ourselves, in one another, that we don’t realize the rain will stop; the light will shine through the clouds; we will be loved, nurtured, supported through the pain, through the bad times?

Laura, victim of violence, could not cope, could not see beyond, and a 15 year old life with so much potential was ended.

Jami, victim of someone else’s mental illness, of someone else’s short sighted thinking, could not see beyond the hurt, the unearned guilt, the unfair accusation, to find a way to cope with someone else’s choices, and so she made her own.

In despair, so focused inward they couldn’t see the end of their pain, they couldn’t see the web of connections they shared with others, they couldn’t see the love of those around them – both Laura and Jami chose to end their lives.

This act, suicide, has such lasting impacts on those left behind. Whether intentional or not, it is an act of great cruelty that causes pain and damages those left behind. Jami, you knew this and still you could not stay your hand.

How do we teach ourselves that sorrow, that guilt, that hurt are a part of life, that as the flip sides of joy, love, compassion, they provide opportunities for growth, for transcendence. The guilt, pain, hurt, will end; they are transient, to be replaced by joy, love, compassion, to be replaced by more mistakes, all opportunities for growth. What feels so hopeless and insurmountable today will pass. We will look back; we will learn and grow from the past; we will be stronger, more resilient for having persevered. So little in life is worth choosing death.

As I watch my daughter, my son, in the aftermath of the devastating loss of their friends to suicide. I know a few things. I know that we must teach trust in connection. I know that we must teach communication. I know that isolation in pain can lead to a killing spiral. Reaching out when in pain is difficult, but critically necessary for healing, sometimes for simply surviving.

Laura and Jami, I cry for you, for the loss of your potential, for the depth of your despair, for the desperation in your choices. I cry for all who loved you and are searching for meaning. I hope that the tragedy of your choices will provide strength for those who loved you, strength in their connections to one another, strength in their common loss.

2 Comments

Posted in Reflections

Tagged suicide, teens

Tom’s Shoes

Posted on May 9, 2009 | 1 comment

Ok, my daughter and I just jumped off the cliff on this one. For her birthday this month and Mommy’s Day (for me) we decided to buy each other Tom’s shoes. Yea, I know, supporting a reality TV star. But here’s the deal! You buy a pair of shoes from Tom’s and they give a child somewhere in the world a pair of shoes. They’ve already donated over 140,000 pairs to children in Argentina, Ethiopia and South Africa since 2006 and plan to delivery over 300,000 in 2009. SERIOUSLY! This is the real deal! Shoes range in price from $34 to $49 for “tiny toms”, $44 to $98 for women’s shoes – that’s what Alyssa and I got – women also have a boot option and $44 to $65 for men’s shoes. Alyssa and I see three side effects of a Tom’s purchases : 1) you get a pair of cool, trendy shoes, 2) you get to “make a difference” for a child somewhere who gets a pair of shoes, 3) the shoes are reasonably priced. Pick the side effect that works for you. Alyssa and I are big on #2 and #3. Need more encouragement, watch the video on Tom’s site about shoe delivery. We’ll let you know what we think when we get out Tom’s! In the meantime, if you’re curious, visit http://www.tomsshoes.com. They even have a special Mother’s Day shoe designed by Tom’s mom! Alyssa and I are feeling pretty good about ourselves today – and that’s a nice side of a shoe purchase.

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June 1 – update on Tom’s shoes. I got my shoes a couple weeks ago and I have to say they are the MOST COMFORTABLE shoes I think I’ve ever worn. Still waiting on my daughter’s painted ones, but already know we’re going to order more. A great cause AND comfortable shoes! You can’t beat that! Check out http://www.tomsshoes.com!

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Posted in make a difference

Tagged Tom's shoes

AmeriCorps

Posted on April 28, 2009 | Leave a comment

What Is AmeriCorps? I was delighted with President Obama’s increased commitment to Americorps announced last week. Sponsored by then Senator John F. Kennedy and implemented by Congress in 1961, AmeriCorps builds on the power of citizen volunteers to make a difference across our nation to meet critical community needs. AmeriCorps members address critical needs in communities all across America. AmeriCorps members:

• Tutor and mentor disadvantaged youth

• Fight illiteracy

• Improve health services

• Build affordable housing

• Teach computer skills

• Clean parks and streams

• Manage or operate after-school programs

• Help communities respond to disasters

• Build organizational capacity

According to the AmeriCorps website – http://www.americorps.gov/, “Each year, AmeriCorps offers 75,000 opportunities for adults of all ages and backgrounds to serve through a network of partnerships with local and national nonprofit groups. Whether your service makes a community safer, gives a child a second chance, or helps protect the environment, you’ll be getting things done through AmeriCorps!” Benefits of Service “As an AmeriCorps member, you’ll gain new skills and experiences—and you’ll also find the tremendous satisfaction that comes from helping others.

In addition, full-time members who complete their service earn a Segal AmeriCorps Education Award of $4,725 to pay for college, graduate school, or to pay back qualified student loans or some programs also pay $1200 in cash. members who serve part-time receive a partial Award. Some AmeriCorps members may also receive a modest living allowance during their term of service.”

There are a variety of AmeriCorps programs. I mention four below. Visit their website for additional information!

The state-based programs provide opportunities to work in all 50 states and the District of Columbia. Americorps projects in your state (Kansas link): http://www.americorps.gov/about/role_impact/state_profiles_detail.asp?tbl_profiles_state=KS

Some programs are nationally based. Americorps national: http://www.americorps.gov/about/programs/national.asp

Americorps VISTA program to fight poverty in the U.S.: http://www.americorps.gov/about/programs/vista.asp VISTA volunteers serve full-time for a year “at a nonprofit organization or local government agency, working to fight illiteracy, improve health services, create businesses, strengthen community groups, and much more … to bring individuals and communities out of poverty.”

Americorps National Civilian Community Corps http://www.americorps.gov/about/programs/nccc.asp: is for young adults 18-24. The goal of NCCC is to “strengthen communities and develop leaders through direct, team-based national and community service”. NCCC volunteers work regionally with nonprofit organizations, state and local agencies, faith-based and other community organizations. Members live on one of five campuses, located in Denver, Colorado, Sacramento, California, Perry Point, Maryland, Vicksburg, MS, and Vinton, Iowa.

Follow AmeriCorps on twitter at: http://www.twibes.com/AmeriCorps

See the movie Earth –

Posted on April 27, 2009 | 1 comment

If you haven’t seen the new Disney movie Earth, I highly recommend it. Not only that, if you see it within the first week of release (before April 29), Disney has promised to plant a tree for each ticket purchased. Clear references to melting ice caps and climate changes make the need to protect our planet obvious. It’s an incredibly beautiful movie and very artfully done. I was in awe most of the time. The beauty and grandeur of our planet is both humbling and compelling. Enjoy!

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Posted in make a difference

Tagged entertainment

DigiActive.com

Posted on April 18, 2009 | 1 comment

I came across a very interesting site today, http://www.digiactive.org. Thanks @melaniemcbride on twitter for the link. In short, the site promotes activism using technology. Regardless of where you might stand on the issues reviewed on the site, it is an excellent example of the potential of digital media to impact change. Students of digital media will find the campaigns reviewed and techniques recommended of particular interest. The site includes reviews of activism campaigns, analysis of their successes and pitfalls, as well as guides like “The DigiActive Guide to twitter for Activism”. Structurally the site contains pages on action alerts, campaigns, DigiActive new, events, guides and resources, opportunities, organizations, R&D, skepticism, tactics, theory and tools. It also reports on initiatives across much of the globe: the Americas, Asia, Europe, Mid-East and North Africa and Sub-Saharan Africa. Below, please find their mission, information on how they got started and a statement of purpose. An excellent site for those who are interested in promoting global activism on a variety of topics as well as students of digital media capacity.

DigiActive.org

Mission Statement

DigiActive is an all-volunteer organization dedicated to helping grassroots activists around the world use the Internet and mobile phones to increase their impact. Our goal is a world of activists made more powerful and more effective through the use of digital technology.

How We Got Started

We created DigiActive because we believe that every person in the world has political power and that digital tools are a great way to express this un-tapped power. Tools like the Internet and mobile phones let us communicate with other people who share our concerns, to disseminate a message of change, to organize and inform ourselves, to lobby the government, to take part in activism.

Together, we call these activities digital activism: the methods by which citizens use digital tools to effect social and political change. We founded DigiActive because we want to spread digital activism around the world.

Our Purpose

Despite the power of these tools, few activists know how to use them. The purpose of DigiActive is to promote and explain the digital tools of social change so activists can use them effectively. The activities of DigActive include, but are not limited to:

Explaining how to use various digital tools for activism
Reviewing digital activism guides and resources created by other organizations
Sharing stories of successful digital activism campaigns around the world
Hosting virtual events where activists can learn from expert digital activism practitioners
Alerting activists to digital actions taking place around the world.
Fostering community among digital activists from around the world

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Posted in make a difference

Support expanded Peace Corps

Posted on April 16, 2009 | 2 comments

Today I became aware of an initiative that I strongly support, the expansion of the Peace Corps. In February, 2009 Congressman Sam Farr (D) California introduced house bill HR 1066 to progressively increase funding for the Peace Corps over the next three years.

Officially established on March 1, 1961, the Peace Corp has placed over 195,000 Americans in over 139 countries. Peace Corps Volunteers work in: education, youth outreach, and community development; business development; agriculture and environment; health and HIV/AIDS; and information technology. Volunteers might find themselves counseling teenagers in Belize, helping Armenians launch computer center, promoting HIV/AIDS awareness in Malawi, or teaching high school chemistry in Ghana.

According to their website, http://www.peacecorps.gov the Peace Corps has three goals:

Helping the people of interested countries in meeting their need for trained men and women.
Helping promote a better understanding of Americans on the part of the peoples served.
Helping promote a better understanding of other peoples on the part of Americans.

In 2009, the Peace Corps is expected to place only 3500 volunteers in the field, this in spite of the fact that more nations and more Americans want to be involved in their programs. Check out http://www.morepeacecorps.org/ for more information on writing to your Congressional Representative to request support for HR 1066. Below is the letter I sent to mine.

It seems to me that at this moment in history it is critical that U.S. citizens have the opportunity to establish connections with other citizens of the world. The value of international contact and understanding cannot be underestimated. I have been fortunate. I was a Fulbright Scholar in Russia in 1996-1997 and I have had the opportunity to travel around the globe teaching judges. The impact these experiences have had on me and my children and the friendships we have made throughout the world can only enhance the standing of the U.S. abroad. When real people interact with real people the possibilities for international understanding and collaboration are enhanced and at this moment in time, I can think of few things more valuable.

April 16, 2009

Dear Representative Tiahrt,

I am writing to you from Andover, KS to request that you co-sponsor HR 1066, the Peace Corps Expansion Act 2009. This bill, which authorizes $450 million, $600 million, and $750 million to Peace Corps in 2010, 2011, and 2012, would allow the Peace Corps to grow and innovate at a time when the US needs soft power initiatives like Peace Corps to enhance US interests abroad.

Current funding does not approach either international need or participant interest levels. In 2009, we will send fewer than 3,500 volunteers to the Peace Corps – less than half the number in 1966. Over twenty nations without Peace Corps missions including Indonesia, Vietnam, and Sierra Leone have requested new programs.

Over 13,000 people applied to become volunteers in 2008, a 16% increase over 2007. The number of minority applicants and applicants over the age of 50 also rose by double digits in the last year. The desire for Americans to serve internationally is matched by a long list of countries that want volunteers. This is an appropriate time to grow and revitalize the Peace Corps.

I hope you share my view that the Peace Corps can be a vital component of our public diplomacy toolbox. Citizen diplomacy through programs like the Peace Corp and Fulbright initiatives have put human faces on the values and beliefs that are at the core of US culture.

Since 1961, nearly 200,000 Peace Corps volunteers have provided meaningful, small-scale development assistance, reversing stereotypes about Americans and returning stateside to enrich communities domestically with new language and other skills. Peace Corps continues to be one of America’s finest expressions of friendship and solidarity across the globe.

I appreciate and welcome your support of this important and timely bill. Please contact Marc Hanson in Congressman Sam Farr’s office at 5-2861 or marc.hanson@mail.house.gov to sign on.

Sincerely,

___________________________________

Addendum: I recently received a letter from Representative Tiahrt in response to my letter explaining the status of the bill in question and thanking me for my letter. I appreciate the acknowledgement and the information.

2 Comments

Posted in make a difference

Tagged global engagement, Peace Corps

Reflections on Mali.

Posted on April 14, 2009 | 4 comments

Tonight I sit here so very grateful for all the positive support and love I’ve received this week from friends both technologically mediated and physically present. I’ve tweeted about my best friend’s daughter Mali and her journey following a pseudoaneurysm a week ago. Her coma, the progression of her condition, her family’s struggles, my request for prayers and energy have all resulted in care and compassion from so many people. I can’t thank you enough.

The final chapter of Mali’s journey is coming to a close. Today she was diagnosed with a virulent form of pneumonia caused by bacteria introduced through her breathing tube. The decision was made to discontinue life support and allow Mali to go. It was clear from the early prognosis and every test since that the damage from the pseudoaneurysm was severe, that Mali would never regain capacity, and that she would likely not survive. She was clear in recent years that if anything like this ever happened to her, she would not want to be kept alive through heroic measures.

This last week has been one of the most difficult of my life. If I believe that there are lessons we are to learn in our lives, mine are that I do not control anything and that I must be patient. Neither come easy for me. Nor do they to my friend Mary. That said, this week I have been clear that I have no control. I have been patient. I have remembered to breathe. I have waited in Mary’s silences. I have held Jess as she cried. I have reached out to friends and family. I have tried to live in the moment.I have tried to be with the pain of this coming loss.

What I know: Mali is a lovely young woman, a devoted mother of two beautiful children, a loving wife, daughter, sister, a good, kind, compassionate friend. I know that I have been blessed to be a part of her life. I know that the grace and compassion her family members have shown to one another this week as they negotiate the impossible task of letting go of a daughter, wife, sister, mother has humbled me. I know that strength is found in the moment, not in planning for the future, not in reliving the past, but in the moment-to-moment choices we make to be present, to be human, to claim our truths. I know that I will miss Mali, that her passing will leave a gap. I know also that her process this week has illuminated the best in her family and those she loves. I know that Mali continues to make a difference as she concludes this final chapter. I know that the support, love, compassion, prayers, positive energy of so many have helped all of us this week.

Addendum: Jessica had asked Mary to tell the story of meeting Mali at an orphanage in Thailand where Mary and Glenn were teaching after stints in the peace corps. Mary talked of seeing this beautiful baby girl and their knowing that Mali was destined to be their daughter. Mali passed away peacefully early this morning as her mother, sister and husband sat with her, recounting the story of her beginning.

4 Comments

Posted in make a difference, Reflections

Wichita teen needs your help!

Posted on April 8, 2009 | Leave a comment

I became aware of Kyle Hicks several months ago. I have still not had the pleasure to meet him. This Wichita teen has a rare inherited disease of the fibrils that hold the layers of skin together called Epidermolysis Bullosa (EB). Kyle’s condition results in blisters over much of his body. Each day, Kyle must clean, cover with fresh Vaseline, gauze and bandage the blistered areas of his body, usually from his shoulders to his toes. It takes over two hours to soak off old bandages and put on new ones to prevent infections.

For much of his life, there has been no treatment EB. However recently, Dr. John Wagner and his team at the University of Minnesota Fairview Clinic have pioneered treatment to develop the anchoring fibrils missing in Kyle’s skin. The treatment requires a bone marrow transplant. Kyle was accepted into Dr. Wagner’s program in April 2008 and a perfect bone marrow donor match was found early in the summer of 2008. To get this surgery, Kyle needs to raise $500,000 dollars, of which over $230,000 have already been raised.

To learn more about Kyle who writes poetry and keeps a weekly blog on his website, his condition, and to donate to his transplant fund, please visit his website at http://www.cotaforkyleh.com/

Deborah's Deliberations

Spring cleaning? Old shoes you don’t want? Build hospice rooms!

Thoughts on the loss of Laura and Jami

Tom’s Shoes

AmeriCorps

See the movie Earth –

DigiActive.com

DigiActive.org

Support expanded Peace Corps

Reflections on Mali.

Wichita teen needs your help!

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